Painful Sex After Birth: What’s Normal And What’s Not

Sex problems, impotence or sexually transmitted disease concept. Couple, man and woman, ripping the same paper

Experiencing painful sex after birth, medically known as postpartum dyspareunia, is a topic that many women find difficult to discuss, yet it’s a concern that is more common than you might think. While some discomfort is to be expected, persistent pain is not normal and should be addressed. This comprehensive guide aims to shed light on what’s normal and what’s not when it comes to postpartum sexual pain, delve into its common causes, and explore various treatment options.

According to a 2022 study in the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, roughly 31% of first-time mothers experience pain during intercourse at three months postpartum. Despite its prevalence, only 15% of postpartum women who experience sexual health concerns discuss it with their healthcare provider.

Related: The Quick and Easy Way to Fix Coning During Pregnancy

Key Takeaways

  • Pain during intercourse after childbirth is common, but persistent pain is not normal and can be treated.
  • The primary reason for postpartum sexual pain is often pelvic floor dysfunction.
  • Vaginal dryness, hormonal changes, and scar tissue are other contributing factors.
  • Treatment options include pelvic floor physical therapy, vaginal dilators, and lubricants.

Related: Flat Mom Butt: Get Your Pre-Baby Booty Back

Debunking Myths About Sex After Birth

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Myth 1: You Can Resume Sex Right Away

Fact: Most healthcare providers recommend waiting at least 6 weeks after both C-section and vaginal birth before resuming sexual activity. This allows time for the cervix to close, postpartum bleeding to stop, and any tears or repaired lacerations to heal.

Myth 2: Sex Will Always Be Painful After Birth

Fact: While some discomfort is normal, especially during the first few times, persistent pain is not. If you experience ongoing pain during sex, consult your healthcare provider. Hormonal changes, especially in breastfeeding mothers, can cause vaginal dryness that may contribute to discomfort.

Myth 3: C-Section Makes It Easier to Resume Sex

Fact: A C-section is a major surgery that requires ample time for recovery. The incision site may be sore, and internal healing is still needed. The general 6-week waiting period applies here as well.

Myth 4: Contraception Isn’t Necessary

Fact: It’s possible to conceive shortly after giving birth, even before menstruation resumes. Discuss birth control options with your healthcare provider.

Myth 5: Sexual Desire Will Return to Pre-Pregnancy Levels Immediately

Fact: Hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and the demands of caring for a newborn can all affect libido. It’s normal for sexual desire to fluctuate after childbirth.

Myth 6: Breastfeeding Negates the Need for Lubrication

Fact: Actually, breastfeeding can lead to vaginal dryness due to hormonal shifts. A water-based lubricant can be helpful.

Related: Diastasis Recti During Pregnancy: Prevention, Treatment, and Exercises

What Causes Painful Sex After Birth?

Hormonal Changes

  • Breastfeeding: The hormone prolactin, which aids in milk production, can also lower estrogen levels, leading to vaginal dryness.
  • Estrogen Deficiency: Lower estrogen can cause thinning and dryness of the vaginal walls.

Physical Factors

  • Episiotomy or Tears: If you had an episiotomy or experienced tearing during delivery, the scar tissue can make sex painful.
  • Pelvic Floor Dysfunction: Childbirth can weaken the pelvic floor muscles, leading to discomfort during sex.

Psychological Factors

  • Anxiety and Stress: The new responsibilities of motherhood can contribute to stress, which may make it difficult to relax during intercourse.
  • Body Image: Changes in body shape and weight can affect self-esteem and sexual comfort.


  • Thrush or Bacterial Vaginosis: Hormonal changes can alter the vaginal pH, making you more susceptible to infections.

Related: Aches and Pains of Pregnancy: Understanding and Coping

How to Find Relief from Postpartum Sexual Pain?

First and foremost, consult your healthcare provider for a proper diagnosis and treatment plan. Here are some general tips:

  • Use Lubricants: Opt for water-based lubricants to ease friction.
  • Pelvic Floor Exercises: Strengthen your pelvic muscles with Kegel exercises.
  • Take It Slow: Don’t rush into it; communicate openly with your partner about your comfort level.

Related: How Often Should You Have Sex to Get Pregnant

When to See a Doctor?

If it hurts, stop. Period. No amount of “pushing through” will make it better. Your body is telling you something, and it’s crucial to listen. It’s crucial to consult a healthcare provider for a personalized diagnosis and treatment plan.

Related: When To Have Sex After C-Section?

Quick Facts About Painful Sex After Birth

Prevalence20-30% of women report painful sex postpartum
Common CausesHormonal changes, physical trauma, emotional stress
Treatment OptionsLubricants, pelvic floor exercises, medical interventions

Related: Sex After Hysterectomy

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How long after giving birth can you have sex?

It’s generally recommended to wait at least six weeks postpartum, but every woman’s body is different. Listen to your body and consult your healthcare provider for personalized advice.

Will sex feel the same after giving birth?

Due to hormonal changes, vaginal dryness, and possible scar tissue, sex may feel different initially. However, with the right treatment, it can become pleasurable again.

Can a C-section cause painful sex after birth?

Yes, scar tissue from the incision can cause discomfort during sex. Vaginal dilators can be helpful in such cases.

Can breastfeeding cause painful sex?

Breastfeeding can lead to decreased estrogen levels, causing vaginal dryness and painful sex. A water-based lubricant can help alleviate this issue.

When should I consult a healthcare provider?

If you experience persistent pain during sex after childbirth, consult a healthcare provider for a proper diagnosis and treatment plan.


Pain during intercourse after childbirth is a common but treatable condition. Whether it’s pelvic floor dysfunction, hormonal changes, or scar tissue causing the discomfort, various treatment options are available. Consult your healthcare provider for a personalized treatment plan. Remember, sex should be a pleasurable experience, and with the right treatment, it can be enjoyable again.

By understanding the causes and seeking appropriate treatment, you can reclaim your sexual health and improve your overall well-being after childbirth.

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Hi, I'm Sushil Singh, a devoted dad and guiding voice in the transformative journey of parenting, based in Mumbai. Drawing from a decade of firsthand experience and extensive research, I offer authentic insights into prepartum, pregnancy, and postpartum stages at Pregnancy Boss. From joyous milestones to challenging uncertainties, my mission is to provide reliable support and practical advice, helping you navigate this profound journey with confidence. Let's embrace the beauty and complexities of parenthood together. Connect for guidance or shared stories. Cheers to our shared path! 🥂 Social Medial Profiles: Quora Pinterest Twitter Facebook

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